On Watching SNL Hungover

“Do you still watch SNL?” a friend asked me on Gchat. He sent a video of last week’s Weekend Update and continued, “I thought this was golden.”

I had just finished a work call and was happy to decompress with some laughs. As Colin Jost and Michael Che filled my screen, I realized something:

No, I don’t watch SNL anymore.

Let’s back up.

I’m a big Saturday Night Live fan, and will be for life. I have a clear memory of my dad and brother howling with laughter over the audio — just the audio — of the famous Celebrity Jeopardy sketch. You know the one (suck it Trebek... also RIP Trebek).

My family constantly quoted skits, from “more cowbell,” to “nature Goulet,” to “I live in a van down by the river!” You name it, my family was running around saying it.

That got me into Tina Fey and then Andy Samberg, which kick-started my love for The Lonely Island and 30 Rock. I kept watching through Taran Kilem, Kristen Wiig, and Kyle Mooney. Hell, I even dated a guy  because he had a photo of himself and Kyle Mooney on his Hinge profile. I would not have batted an eye at this guy without that photo.

In the early days, right after college, I would often try to be home from the bars in time to see SNL. I was that big of a fan. Secretly I always liked being home a little on the early side because I knew I wouldn’t be too hungover on Sundays. It was my little trick to make sure I didn’t drink too much.

But time goes on. I made a new group of friends and found a new passion that got me to stay out into the wee hours of the morning. The headliner at EDM shows often start around 1:30 am, and don’t end until 3 or 4 in the morning. Slowly, watching SNL live disappeared from my life. I had new priorities and they were basically just partying hard. I would still watch SNL on Sunday, usually from my bed, with one eye open and the other probably rolling back in my head, very hungover. Regardless, I still absorbed the show and kept up with it.

I lived with a roommate who had a similar passion for raving and eventually got a boyfriend who also fit that mold. Somewhere along the line of us going to raves and then waking up in the same apartment, we started a tradition of getting out of bed and watching SNL together on Sunday afternoons.

But, like before, time went on. I was forced to get sober due to a medication I was taking and then continued on with my sobriety after the medication was done because sobriety just felt so goddamn good. For a while though, in an attempt to keep one foot in my old life, my weekends remained the same as they were before; I was still going to raves and coming back at 4 am, but I was doing it all sober. The next afternoon, I would hang around and watch SNL with my roommate and my boyfriend. I was set on keeping this tradition.

After a while, as you might guess, I started to get unsettled with this. With abstinence from alcohol came a boundless energy I wasn’t used to. I was staying out late but waking up at a reasonable time, and I wasn’t hungover, so I wanted to move. I wanted to do something. Somewhere down the line, I started to feel a schism forming with my boyfriend. He didn’t change any of his habits, drinking, sleeping, or otherwise, and of course I hadn’t expected him to. But there comes a point when romantic lifestyles just need to be in-sync with one another. Ours no longer were. I no longer had the patience to wait for him to wake up on weekends, sometimes past noon, and no longer had the patience to wait as he got over his hangover. I also no longer had the desire to lay on the couch all day and watch something, anything, to get my mind off feeling like shit because I didn’t feel like shit anymore. I felt good, great, even. Things were changing for me in ways I had never thought possible. 

Eventually, after my boyfriend had a few high ABV beers and hit me, I broke up with him. It sucked; the break up was absolutely brutal and it tore me up inside, but I also knew it was the right thing to do. He was weighing me down. I moved out of my apartment that I shared with my roommate. I loved her to death, but it being a pandemic and all, I wanted my own space to work from home in peace.

With my ex  gone and me out of the old environment that kept me stagnant, my life started to pick up at a rapid pace. I’d still watch SNL on occasion and hang out with my old roommate on Sundays, but I also had lots of time in the morning to do whatever I wanted. I still love raving, but I stopped going to as many late night shows (when I thought about it, I went to as many as I did because I wanted to make my ex happy) and joined some clubs and groups that fit healthier interests of mine. I was choosy with my time and who I spent it on.

That brings us to today and the question my friend asked me on Gchat. It’s now been almost a year since I broke up with my ex and moved out of my apartment. I sat at my computer in awe of how things changed. It wasn’t like I planned to not watch SNL consistently again. It’s just that I hadn’t woken up on a Sunday hungover in almost two years. I hadn’t been with people who I had that tradition with. Over the years, I had subconsciously tied SNL to my alcohol use, whether it was making sure I left the bars early enough to watch, or if I watched it in pain on a Sunday. Now that alcohol is out of the picture SNL has slowly made its way out of my priorities, too.

I wondered, for a split second, if this discovery made me sad or nostalgic for the past. I had a lot of laughs over the years thanks to SNL, some of which really helped me forget about the agony I was in. Ultimately though, I’m not sad about it. I’m happy and forever grateful that I got myself off the alcohol merry-go-round. I’ll always be able to go back and watch old sketches and of course, I’m not against watching it now. It’s just not a priority of mine anymore. Keeping up this sober life is.

About Alexandra:

Alexandra is a thirty-something ux designer living in Washington, DC. She loves being outside, going to concerts, working on some sort of art project, and writing.